Seriously?

Hey mechants of America, your credit card machines are beyond dumb.

Stop using them.

I hear you whining every Christmas that consumers are spending more money online.

This is why. You are dumb and your technology is dumber.

You now have become so lazy, you make us check out by ourselves and yet half the time you need to help us. These fancy new self service check outs are pretty cool and high tech with big button menus. But then it all breaks down when you go to scan our card.

You suck.

All because of how you chose to process our credit cards.

As Maroon 5 would say, “and it goes like this:”

1. First scan your card – check. And check out lady I know how to do this. You don’t have to tell me how or do it for me. This is not the problem.

2. Choose the type of payment. Debit or Credit. I use credit. I click credit, always – check.

3. Enter your pin number. Ok, here is where to dumbness begins. I just clicked credit. Credit cards do not use pin numbers, you know this. There is no excuse for this. Fix this or I will stop using your service.

4. There are no instructions, in most cases, for what to do next. In the intuitive user interface world we now live in, it would be so simple to fix this, and yet, you don’t. You suck.

Yes, mean people suck, but you suck more and you’re dumb.

Oh, but in some cases there are instructions which read, “click cancel for credit.” In most cases, I need to ask the bozo in the red vest what to do next. They usually say, “click cancel for credit.”

HUH?!

Wouldn’t clicking cancel actually do something like, oh I don’t know, CANCEL WHAT I’M DOING?!

How does this make any sense?

What is truly amazing to me is that all of these stupid little boxes are the same in this regard.

So, I’m telling you again, get your crap together, hire a Jr. High programmer and fix this.

Until then, Harry and Lloyd got you beat.